nora!!!!!!

at times like this~

assalamualaikum
(waalaikumsalam..)

yeah, at times like this, i miss my bff. she is very far away now. very. i had to catch a plane to get to her. she's the one who i used to share everything in my little heart. i want to be with her now, i need to tell her everything that i should. i don't want to make it as a big deal, that's why i needed her. i have a lot to say to her...
(it is me!!)
but, she seemed different now.
(no!!!no im not!!!) 
i don't know what have i done. she seemed cold to me.
(eyy....way did you say so???is it true???am i acting like that toward u??T,T)
hell, i had no idea why, i can't even picture a reason. maybe it's because i didn't keep in touch with her, not so often like before.
(please....im not!!i love you. and im missed you damm much!!myb, i didnt mean it to hurt you..i did something huh??cowy!!!!)
i have the habit of expressing my feelings through writing. i feel a lot better after i write no matter what it is that i'm feeling (anger, dissapointment, love etc..) but i can't really share about it here because it's very personal. so, i need her now!
(wait for eid, dear..)
ehm, i should write a little, i suppose~ XD
first, i miss my friends, my bff
(so do i...)
second, i'm in love. i'm in love with someone who is absurdly not my soulmate. he is the most impossible guy i can have. impossible, major impossible. but i just can't help it, i'm in love with him. so, shit.



(ahakz...i noe who~~)
third, i want to break free. i think i have this invisible shell that surrounds me. i want to break free. i want to see the world. but i just can't. this shell is just to hard for me to get through.

(believe me..you want to do it, with me~~felt that way too...)
fourth, .... well, i just have to say that i can only say this fourth thing to my bff.
(you made me felt like suck dear...huaaa...it is my fault...im not there,with u...)
haha! damn, i need her! she's going through hard times now, not to mention, she's literally alone there (without the one she's familiar with).
(exactly!!)
not that she needed us because she is very brave and independent girl, i adore her for that but she's still a girl.
(ehem...ahahaha)
she should need someone to talk to. i'm thinking to offer myself but i had no idea how since she seems acting cold towards me. (please, don't make me feel so clueless. i am not the kind of person who can figure things out quickly.)
(and you make mistake to0!!im not...i just felt so awkward..you know me better nora...please...dont misunderstood me..hmmm)
so, to my dear bff, if you are reading this, i don't know whether you will read this or not, but still, if you do, please let me now about the things that i should know. and i hope we can be just like before where we got to share all the things that we want. it's kind of hard without you here since we used to be together a lot. since you are the one who discovered where and what i am when i was wearing an invisible cloak.
(nora......im that bad,huh??)
it would be nice to have you around and i am very sorry that i cancelled our promise by the last minute.
(i know..im oke with it...nora, i didnt realize that you hurt so much, because of ME...sorry...)
i can't change my parents' decision... i'm still hoping that we can make our dream comes true you know, we almost had it, we're so close in making it a reality. so, i want you to stay strong there, just believe in yourself and believe me that those jerks that you have there worth nothing. your future worth more that you can imagine, so, all you need is to move on. you are strong, and i have faith in you. i love you, i miss you, i wish we don't have to fight or have misunderstandings but you know what? we just have to keep cool and just go with the flow because a relationship without hardships is not a relationship at all. so at times like this, besides needing you, i feel proud that we had a lot of fight before. (kekeke)
(nora, im sorry...huhu...so do i...)
i miss you, i wish we could meet up soon and spend a lot of times together... :')

assalamualaikum